Second Week of August
This week I decided to be more positive. I've been very anxious about a number of things lately and I feel melancholy a lot of the time. Not exactly sad, but below nuetral.
It's easy to want external sources to cheer you up. To put the onerous on friends to help you feel better. This is both silly and unsustainable. Leaching off other peoples energy is not helpful—to you or the people you're relying on. I want to be a positive energy source.
That was my goal on Monday. The days that followed were not good. I found myself in a funk and I couldn't shake it. My life felt out of place, something didn't feel right, and I couldn't figure out why.
Finally on Friday I was able to turn things around. A combination of a little extra sleep, having lunch in New Ulm with a good friend, and hanging out with friends in Kato helped my world seem a little more normal. And I was ready to take on the weekend.
One of my friends was showing me some calendars she bought. One of the designs caught my attention and I commented that this was something I needed to keep in mind. A minute later she had ripped the page out of the calendar and given it to me.
A negative mind will never give you a positive life.
I never think of myself as a victim of life. But I don't always feel like I have control over it. I've known people who like to complain about how life is treating them. That's always annoyed me, but over the years I have realized it's an easy trap to fall into.
The difference, I think, is how you approach it. If you complain when things don't go your way and want other people to solve your problems, that's the wrong way to handle the situation. It's okay to express frustration, maybe complain a little when things don't work out, but getting advice, finding solutions, and moving on is the right attitude to have.
I don't know if I'm good at this yet. It's difficult to see in the moment, when you're at a low point and don't know what to do. Which is why it's important to take time to reflect. Setting aside downtime to think about the last week, consider my reactions, gauge how I felt about them. It's helpful, moving forward, to know more about my instincts, my gut reactions, and how to best handle situations so that I am happy with how I deal with life.