Technology, noun: the means by which we optimistically make our lives more complicated.
I'm not very old, [Citation Needed] but I feel like purchasing things has become unnecessarily complicated in recent years. Let's take a look at the history of buying things.
A LONG TIME AGO (so long ago that I don't remember it because I am young)
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: We will get that ready for you, how do you intend to reimburse us?
Man: Here's a small goat.
Employee: That goat is too small. This meal is worth two of those size goats.
Man: How about this baby lamb?
Employee: We have no need for that lamb.
Man: I'll throw in my pet owl, but that's my final offer.
Employee: You have yourself a deal.
Bartering is complicated. It's a good thing we invented cash.
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $5.99.
Man: Here's a piece of cotton paper worth $10.
Employee: Here's your change of four sheets of paper and a little metal token back.
Cash is easy. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $6.99.
Man: Oh shoot, I have no cash on me.
Employee: Well then no combo 2 for you.
Man: What if I promise to pay you tomorrow?
Employee: What if I still say no?
Rich Man: I'll buy you a combo 2 meal if you pay me back tomorrow... with 19% interest!
Man: Deal! I'm starving.
Okay, so obviously, credit cards are nice. Debit cards are handy too.
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $7.99.
Man: Oh shoot, I have no cash on me. But I have this plastic debit card.
Employee: Swipe the card here.
Man: It's asking for a PIN. But I don't have a PIN for this card.
Employee: Press the Green/Red button to run your debit card as a credit card and then you don't have to put in a PIN.
Man: Wow, I do love technology!
But apparently this isn't secure? Or something? Difficult to say. So we put small flat computers into our plastic credit cards.
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $8.99.
Man: I swiped my card but the small screen only beeps angrily at me.
Employee: You need to insert your card into the chip reader.
Man: Okay.
Employee: Leave the card in the reader until it beeps angrily at you two times and then take it out.
(Several minutes pass.)
Man: It didn't work.
Employee: Let's try that again.
(Several minutes pass.)
Man: Okay, it worked this time, but now I'm late to my appointment.
Sometimes the chip readers don't work, but that's okay because you can still swipe your card the old fashion way.
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $9.99.
Man: You have a slip of paper in the card slot.
Employee: The chip reader doesn't work, just slide it.
Man: Okay. Isn't that less secure though?
Employee: Do you want your meal or not?
Man: I'll just use my credit card to be safe.
Employee: Please sign the pad.
Man: I'm going to draw a smiley face instead.
Employee: I can help whoever is next.
Carrying all these small cards can be really inconvenient, but fortunately we are all carrying around conveniently large mobile phones!
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $10.99.
Man: Can I tap to pay?
Employee: Yes.
Man: It's asking for PIN, but I don't have one.
Employee: I don't think there's a way around that... try inserting your card into the chip reader.
Man: Okay I've just inserted my card into the chip reader, but it's still asking for a PIN.
Employee: Just hit the Green/Yellow/Red button to skip the PIN and run it as a credit.
Man: It's a good thing I have a bachelors degree in pushing buttons!
Fortunately, the way technology is going it's only going to get easier to buy stuff in the future.
Man: I would like a number 2 combo meal with a coke.
Employee: That will be $11.99.
Man: How about I give you my level 1507 Charizard and my 1283 Eevee?
Employee: We're only accepting pokemon if they come with lures.
Man: Hold on, I don't have any lures, but maybe the pokéstop here will... ...okay, um... still no lures, can I wait five minutes to try again?
Employee: Sir, you're holding up the line.
Man: Okay, one second. Let me just purchase some pokécoins here... might as well buy 1,200 of them for $9.99. I'll probably use them later too. Now I just have to spend 100 pokécoins on a lure module... Okay, I'll trade a lure module and my Charizard and Eevee for a number 2 combo meal?
Employee: Okay, let me just hit the trade button here on my end. Good now insert your chip card into the reader.
Man: Card is in the reader. Now it's asking for my PIN.
Employee: If you don't have a poképin, you can hit the Green/Yellow/Red button to skip and run as a pokécredit instead.
Man: Awesome!
Employee: Okay, now just sign the pad.
Man: I'm going to draw a Weedle instead.
Employee: Next.